RENE’S INTERLUDE

a suicide prevention poem

i don’t speak enough on the angle of your feet when we seen your body the day that you died.

Fateful November 3rd

shit ain’t been the same 

heart breaking 

it’s what we call karma or fate. 

1 decision can change everything 

you had a daughter 

who you named after your sake.

but things didn’t go your way. 

you lost a custody battle, and your little girl barely knew her daddy. 

i watched you cry, 

how i know a man feel pain.

when he puts that armor away and is saved instead of always saving the day. 

Life taught you the hard way 

that’s the Reason why you’d try to teach me differently.

i’d do it anyway.

A hard head make a soft ass.

the little girls you raised were out there shaking theirs for cash. 

you got on my ass so i’d go down a different path. 

See, when it comes to me and where i come along — we can say God work in mysterious ways 

I Used to plan for a demise from suicide. 

God intended to write the story differently this time. 

 circumstances, the same. 

Oddly, similar. 

all we did was trade places that day.

the world can still feel lonely even with a shade other than grey.

you used your love for me to go back in time and rewrite some things 

loved me through it despite my dismissal of your pain. 

in my adolescent mind, it wasn’t about you anyway.

thats another lesson learned for another day 

our roles were reversed and

somewhere, someplace on that same day 

instead of you, it was me 

karmically the scales tipped this way in Fate 

God trying to teach a little girl that her life meant something and there was another way 

because taking your life is a small price to pay 

no one speaks on the bodies of your loved ones that you  pave 

Tryna cope with grief , find some peace , losing all they sleep 

1 decision can change everything.

I aint even know my daddy, but you decided to step up to the plate.

something as simple as a father altered this little girl’s fate. 

a father, a young woman’s shield from a world looking to take and take and take. 

I had no father but i had a man named Rene. 

who decided he’d stick around and give that love and fill that place. 

i watched you cry 

how i know a man feel pain

when he put that armor away 

and is saved instead of always saving the day. 

My daddy took his life and God gave me his name

on that day, i became miss Aujané Rene

i don’t speak enough on that fucking day 

 He altered fate and saved my life

 there was no other way 

tears fall from my eyes whenever i say his name 

if he were here today, i’d really want to say 

thank you for giving me a second chance at life. 

forever a hero in my eyes, i love you 

despite all the pain that you hid and disguised. 

you’ll always be more than your suicide. 

EVE’S PERSPECTIVE

a poem about shrooms

Some fruit in this garden 

the garden of knowledge 

is the Devil’s trap. 

Please don’t eat it. 

If you love your innocence 

If you love your bliss 

Some fruit will make you sick. 

Some will rot before their time. 

If I’ve learned anything in this life, it’s that 

no one should know everything. 

no one should claim they are God. 

How humbling.

God’s fruit 

of forbidden knowledge 

It’ll make a beautiful mess out of me.

God’s fruit 

has fear planted in the soil

and Love spread throughout its leaves. 

Beautiful yet frightening. 

No wonder God has created us in Their image

God was lonely. 

 lonely to know too much.

 lonely to know everything.

There’s silent peace with company that you can’t enjoy 

once you’ve eaten 

that sweet, sweet 

juicy fruit. 

caged bird: a meditation on music

i kno-o-o-w why the caged bird sings 

after years of heart pounding

stomach churning

anxiety inducing

sleepless nights of betrayal and violence 

and destructive hands,

controlling,

forcing their silence

they searched within to remember how the sky felt when you joyfully soar with kin

i know why the caged bird sings

their song is a psalm of the strength it took

to relinquish the heavy weight, 

the brick,

laid upon their wings.

listen to them willing

into existence 

the desire to escape their cage

and sing the most beautiful songs God has ever allowed to be heard

i know why the caged bird sings 

at a tender age,  i’d gather and sit at their cage and listen to their beautiful song 

they shared with me:

song has allowed the caged bird to be free. 

i can’t lie, that’s stuck with me. 

 that’s why i sing

in the same note, key, and melody.